#55 – Dare I say..Racing to my 40’s??!!

#55 – Dare I say..Racing to my 40’s??!!

34352004654_a4969e49be_oSo here I am, almost a month away from being 39 years old and it has occurred to me over the past few days….Man my 30’s suuuuucked!!!  This is no poor me, but it’s a fact.  For the year I have left of being in my 30’s, I will be preparing for my 40’s.  I am determined to reinvent myself for this new decade….after all, I hear 40’s are the new 25!

I’m losing weight, keeping those close to me even closer, stressing over things that “matter”.  I can’t lose sleep over what something Trump may have said that day.  Speaking of sleep…I will sleep better.  I need to be present and really take a look at myself in the mirror and analyze it.  No more taking a glance, wincing, and stepping away.  This is serious.  My kids are only getting older and a whole new set of “stages” will be occurring.  I need to be at my best….for myself and for my kids.  I want holidays to feel special again.  It’s a shame that at the sweet innocent ages that my kids are now, they have the grinchiest mother out there.  It’s just not the same and I will change that.

I’m making this sound easy aren’t I?!  I am even convincing myself!!  But in all seriousness, all of this won’t happen at the stroke of midnight of me turning 40.  I know it’s going to take work, but I want to enjoy this work.  I want a life I don’t need a vacation from.  “But everyone has issues and no one’s life is perfect”, you say!  This is true and I don’t disagree with you, but it will all be how I handle things going forward.  No more “why does this shit always happen to me” attitude.  It will now be “okay, this is how I’m going to handle this”.  My aim is not to be perfect…my aim is to enjoy my life and all the craziness it entails.

Picture by: Kylie Aquino

Kristen

# 45 – #WeekendCoffeeShare June 5

# 45 – #WeekendCoffeeShare June 5

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If we were having coffee…

I would give you one of my large 16oz coffee cups and tell you to get comfortable on my couch.  I feel like this has been a whirlwind week.  I probably say this every week, but really, I mean…it’s June for goodness sake!

One of my favorite things to do (besides drink coffee) is to drink coffee with one of my friends and just being able to relax, shoot the shit, and have no where I have to be…..ahhh sounds delightful doesn’t it??!!

One super exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I got to watch my brother-in-law propose to his girlfriend!  It was a lot of fun knowing a little secret and watching it unfold!  Congrats to this amazing couple…very happy for them and hope for nothing but the best in their future!

Other than that exciting news, this week was a flash.  I did not follow my usual laundry schedule, or any type of schedule for that matter.  That makes me a little crazy…I admit it.  I need my lists and to be able to cross things off to feel accomplished.  I have issues…I know.

So today, the first thing on my agenda, after my coffee of course, is to make a list of everything I would like to accomplish for today to get ready for work tomorrow.  I am already shuttering at the thought of Monday morning….ugh!

Enjoy your day, make your to do lists and be amazing!

This #WeekendCoffeeShare was also brought to you by Part-Time Monster.

Picture by: opethpainter Lic: CC

Kristen

# 35 – Just Another Manic Monday

# 35 – Just Another Manic Monday

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So I wasn’t really sure I was going to end up writing a post this evening considering I have a rather busy Tuesday (and rest of the week really) and I really need tonight to prepare for it.  But here I am, sitting at my desk, chugging away…at writing, not drinking…but that’s not a bad idea either.

Instead of sitting here complaining how much of a stressful day today was….I will think of the positive.  I am sick of the negative the past few days/weeks.

Thankful….

Tonight marks the end of Week 4 of my class and only one more week to go!  I also finished my presentation and submitted it…good riddance to that!

Teachers have been contacting me regarding the fact that Father’s Day is coming up and they want to be extra sensitive to my guys feelings during these class celebrations.  I appreciate these teachers…I really honestly do.  I am also very thankful to my guys grandfathers, uncles, godfathers, and friends who are always willing to step up and take on the father role when one is needed.  I always consider myself both the mom and the dad, but the boys definitely need some boy time once in a while.

My big guy is on the mend from being sick the entire weekend, which makes me feel so much more at ease!

I hope you all have a wonderful week and I hope if your Monday started out rather manic, I hope it evened out by the evening!

#MondayBlogs

Also, don’t forget my giveaway for a $25 Amazon gift card…time is running out.  See my blog # 33 – #BetterPersonChallenge & A Giveaway! for more details!

~ K

Picture by: Nick Saltmarsh Lic: CC

# 26 – #BetterPersonChallenge 4/27

# 26 – #BetterPersonChallenge 4/27

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This challenge to become a Better Person is not saying you are an awful person by any means, it’s just something to try to do in your busy, crazy days to make you and possibly someone else just a little happier.

Happiness is the Goal!!

This week’s Challenge – Keep in Touch with your Friends

Happy people know how their friends are doing.  This year I have made a goal that I want to be a better friend.  We are all busy with our own families, work, life….but I’m trying to make an extra effort to check in more often.  I love my friends and I don’t like that I cannot find time to only see them a few times a year.  I have friends that live states away and though I can’t see them as often, I need to call or text and just let them know “I’m thinking of you”.

I keep a small circle of really good friends….I love them and want them to always know that.  They are pretty much my family at this point (they become that way by default with how many years we’ve been friends..lol).  Even if I haven’t known them for half my life, they’re very special people that have been there through tough times and don’t leave!

So tell me…how often do you speak with your friends.  How do you keep in touch…by phone, social media, text…whatever it may be…I would love to hear about it.  Do you have traditions of getting together?  Monthly meet-ups?  Or how you plan to put this challenge into action!

Good Luck!  Have a Happy and Joyful Week!

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Add your post to the link below and make sure to hashtag #BetterPersonChallenge in your Facebook or Twitter posts!  Plus, to add an element of fun to this challenge, you can also vote on who has the best thumbnail photo!

Picture by: tiffany terry Lic: CC


~ K

# 16 – Getting Back to Reality

# 16 – Getting Back to Reality

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As I return to work today from being on disability from my gallbladder surgery, I can’t help but think the last time I was out of work for an extended period of time is when my husband passed away.  It’s also kind of ironic that this morning I must have passed three BMW’s…all white…(which was his favorite car), all in a row.  So talking to out loud, I said “So you must be with me this morning” and “Did you see those crazy boys of ours horsing around at the bus stop…boy they really need you to wrestle with”.  I asked him to give me some extra strength to deal with the tough times and I miss him.

It’s been a long time since I have actually talked to him out loud.  His name gets mentioned a lot throughout the days.  The boys and I were discussing how D looks just like him and has his broad shoulders.  It makes them smile and my heartbreak at the same time.

A few weeks back I sent away to get some old camcorder films made into DVD’s….I CANNOT wait to get them back and have the boys watch their father.  Especially M, he can’t remember him and he tries so hard to recall those memories.  These movies will forever be treasured (and please let there be some decent footage too!)

I once had a friend tell me to make sure I get a wedding video because her daughter had suddenly passed away and she always has that to watch.  I did not get the video…I thought it was an extra expense and I hate the way I look on film.  Well now I wish I had that video so badly.  We didn’t have iPhones then for anyone else to have any video either (wow I feel really old saying that but really it wasn’t that long ago).  I recommend to anyone getting married….get the video.  It will be cherished by plenty of others besides just you…who cares how you look on film.  Also family pictures…my husband and I never got a chance to take a full family picture.  It was always on our “To Do” list.  Now I get family pictures done of me and my kids (even though I continue to hate being in pictures).  My photographer put it perfectly….they are not going to cherish the pictures of themselves when they get older, it will be the ones where you are also in them.

~ K

Picture by: Ales Kladnik Lic: CC

#11 – It Really Does Take a Village

#11 – It Really Does Take a Village

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So I unexpectedly had to have my gallbladder removed – hence my little break in blogging.  It was a very scary experience in that, when I had no idea what was wrong with me, all I could think of were my boys and I can’t have anything wrong with me because they NEED me.

I thought it was just heartburn, but this time it was not going away and just getting worse….it hurt to breathe.  I figured I would just go to the walk-in clinic and get a prescription for a heartburn medication.  But as soon as you say “chest pains” and you also currently have high blood pressure….they are calling 911 and the next thing you know is they are taking you out by a stretcher.

I couldn’t stop crying…it was like I wasn’t even going through the emotion of crying…tears just started streaming down my face and I couldn’t stop it.  I was by myself and I really didn’t know what to expect, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my boys.

But I have to say, my entire family sprung into action.  My in-laws were on their way to stay with me in the ER, my sister-in-law was taking care of my kids, my parents had one foot in the car ready to drive 2 hours…even though I begged them not to….it was probably (hopefully) nothing.  Just heartburn.

So after spending two days in the hospital, eventually discovering my gallbladder needed to be removed…everything I was taking care of before, was seamlessly happening for me.  Kids were taken care of and ready for Easter, the dog was taken care of, and all I had to do was go home and rest.  I cannot thank everyone enough for all of the help they provided (and still are providing) while I recover.  Family and friends who have been reaching out and making sure I am okay and always providing a lending hand…..I’m forever grateful!

So even though this has disturbed Spring Break for my kids and everything I had scheduled for this week…I guess it was a blessing in disguise.  I had to stop and just take care of myself….my VILLAGE has my back!

Next week, all of the crazy will be back.

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# 3 Finding Yourself and Starting Over

through the yearsSo now, at the age of 37 (almost 5 years since my husband, Dan, has passed away), there have been many things that have changed in my life.  I have bought my own house and I am learning how to be a homeowner again in a million different ways than before (i.e. YouTube is my go to if Dad is not visiting).  Both of my boys, now 9 and 6, have started school and I have had to learn how to juggle the mornings, afternoons, and bedtime (again…YouTube and Google are great resources!).  I also went back to school, a few times within these 4 years, but I am trying with all my might.  I am the provider for the house and want to set an example for my children.  I could go on and on, but I’m pretty sure you get the point.

This year has been particularly hard compared to the other years.  I am not sure if it was because I was in a fog, in auto-drive, or still in disbelief.  Now perhaps that I feel more settled, things are sinking in and the boys are missing that part of a father in their life, and it’s just REAL now.  I work hard…..very hard to keep things together.  We have routines for our routines.  I go to therapy to keep me grounded.  I try to have fun for the kids, but most importantly I’m trying for myself.  There are so many times I don’t want to go out with friends, but I am grateful for them always trying and persuading me to attend functions.

Another thing…FRIENDS!  I cherish them now more than ever.  I want to be as good of a friend as they have always been for me, especially during these past few years.  I am always striving to be a better friend.  I miss the days of school, talking on the phone for hours or sleepovers…having that constant friend connection.  Now everyone is married or has kids and it slips away a little bit because of the normal hustle and bustle we all have.  I can definitely tell you though, no matter how long it has been since I have seen or talked to one of my friends, we always fall back into place.  My goal is to close the gaps for how long we go without talking.  Remember Sex and the City?  I was always jealous of how often they got to just sit around and chit-chat….trying to get that back a little bit!

Family has also been a huge part of starting over, so to speak.  I do not take anything for granted and always try my best to attend every family function.  I have a HUGE family and I love them all dearly!  My Grandmother who has also passed, is/was such a great role model for me and I see the same thing happening with my children and their Grandmothers.  I wish I could go back in time and talk with her more and just appreciate the little things.  You never know in this world and I want to have time with everyone and enjoy it.

I will probably always throw a few of my “starting over” tidbits in each blog since I believe this will be an on-going process (and I have barely made a chip in discussing the last 4 years!).  But don’t worry, I will soon be discussing various other topics that hopefully you will all enjoy, share, get involved, and smile during these blogs.