#47 – #BetterPersonChallenge June 8

#47 – #BetterPersonChallenge June 8

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5 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Better

I don’t know about you guys, but if I do something I really enjoy, It puts me in a good mood and which then reflects in my attitude towards others.  Doesn’t it make you feel good when you are walking and pass a complete stranger and they say hello just as friendly as if they knew you.  I want to be a “better me” so I can be better to others.

So…I sat thinking…what makes me happy or what do I really enjoy.  These may seem like little things, but for me it can definitely make or break my day.

  1. Drink coffee out of my favorite mug.

There’s just something about a cute mug that makes me happy!  I have way too many, but can never seem to pass one up at a store.  But making that fresh cup of coffee in the oh so cute mug can even make it taste better!

  1. Wear comfortable underware.

Maybe I’m just getting old, but seriously.  Sitting at my desk all day with a wedgie or a wire poking me in the side…makes me kinda grumpy.  Comfort is the name of my game!

  1. Take a break from your electronics.

I know, I know….it is seriously a habit at this point to constantly check my phone.  But you all have to admit…it’s kind of nice to be unconnected even just for a little while.

  1. Netflix and….Burrito (might be my new phrase…check it out)

Go to bed early to snuggle and watch your series addictions.  This is fun for me because I NEVER have control of the remote in my house.  Nickelodeon 24/7…help!

  1. Make your desk feel….home-y.

If you are going to be sitting at work more than you are at home, why not make it fun and inviting.  I have pictures, plants, cute pens and notebooks….okay maybe I am channeling my inner teenage self, but I don’t care….makes me happy!  Even my desk at home…it’s my favorite place to sit.  Which this is totally what I need to get school work done, etc.

 

So take a moment to think about the little things that will improve your mood.  You never know what another person is going through and being happy and friendly could possibly rub off on someone else today and make a difference.

#BetterPersonChallenge

Picture by: Moyen Brenn Lic: CC

Kristen

# 46 – #MondayBlog – Coping with a Loss from Suicide

# 46 – #MondayBlog – Coping with a Loss from Suicide

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“How you cope with a loved one that has died by suicide.”  This is a tough question because for one – I am so saddened that someone else had to go through what I had gone through, and two – I am definitely not an expert and I live day by day.  However, I tend to jump at the chance to help someone else or offer advice when needed…it’s therapy for me too!  (So trust me…ask away! And I am particulary thankful I received a request to write on this topic…so thank you!)

I lost my husband in 2011, almost 5 years ago….

It doesn’t get easier with time as many people say. Which I hate to say…but it’s something that just kind of sits there in your mind…no better…no worse.  You just learn how to cope.

I had two, practically babies, to raise and I think I just went into a mode where I had to worry about them and everything else that my husband left behind.  I don’t think I even worked on coping for the first few years.

It’s a very hard topic to understand and in the beginning and I would read a lot about suicide.  However, I stopped because then the blame game comes into play.  You read about the signs and then you think “Oh my god it was right in front of my face”, but it’s not your fault.  It’s not anyone’s fault.

One of the first things I did was go to therapy.  I just needed to talk about so many different topics.  Now I know, therapy is not for everyone, but it has and does help me a lot and I continue to go to this day.  It is just nice to talk to someone, who has no relation to the family or the issues and get their advice.  Sometimes I think I just sit there and blabber about nonsense, but it gets it off my shoulders and doesn’t add it to any of my friends or families shoulders.

I have also attended a conference they have once a year at a local community college that is for Suicide Survivors and at one point in the conference they break you out into groups by the person you have lost.  This was the first time I have spoken with other people that have also lost someone to suicide.  It was a very emotional experience; however, you almost develop a deep connection with people that were once strangers.  Support groups are also good because you see people at all different stages of grief and listen to how they cope with their feelings.  You finally have that “Me too!” moment with people that “get it”.

I have also participated in Out of the Darkness walks every year since Dan has passed away to raise money for research and education.  This is another place that, unfortunately, gets a larger and larger group each year, but it is also a way to connect with others who know exactly what you are feeling.

It’s not easy and there is no magic answer.  This year was a particularly hard year for me around November (when he passed) to about the beginning of this year.  I feel like life has settled down and I am finally dealing with the loss.  I don’t think I have yet to completely deal with the loss, but just always remember, one day at a time.

I think of him several times a day and that has never stopped and I don’t want it to either.  I guess it’s just how you start to look at the situation and how you need to move forward with your life.

I know I have only scratched the surface of this topic, but if there is anything you would like specifically answered or how to find resources to help deal with your loss, please reach out and I will offer whatever assistance I can.

I have a feeling there will be a Part 2….stay tuned.

Picture by: Ivan Friande Lic: CC

Kristen

# 45 – #WeekendCoffeeShare June 5

# 45 – #WeekendCoffeeShare June 5

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If we were having coffee…

I would give you one of my large 16oz coffee cups and tell you to get comfortable on my couch.  I feel like this has been a whirlwind week.  I probably say this every week, but really, I mean…it’s June for goodness sake!

One of my favorite things to do (besides drink coffee) is to drink coffee with one of my friends and just being able to relax, shoot the shit, and have no where I have to be…..ahhh sounds delightful doesn’t it??!!

One super exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I got to watch my brother-in-law propose to his girlfriend!  It was a lot of fun knowing a little secret and watching it unfold!  Congrats to this amazing couple…very happy for them and hope for nothing but the best in their future!

Other than that exciting news, this week was a flash.  I did not follow my usual laundry schedule, or any type of schedule for that matter.  That makes me a little crazy…I admit it.  I need my lists and to be able to cross things off to feel accomplished.  I have issues…I know.

So today, the first thing on my agenda, after my coffee of course, is to make a list of everything I would like to accomplish for today to get ready for work tomorrow.  I am already shuttering at the thought of Monday morning….ugh!

Enjoy your day, make your to do lists and be amazing!

This #WeekendCoffeeShare was also brought to you by Part-Time Monster.

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Kristen

# 43 – #BetterPersonChallenge – Be Kind to Yourself

# 43 – #BetterPersonChallenge – Be Kind to Yourself

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Be Kind to Yourself

When is the last time you penciled in on your To-Do list, time for something that gives you pleasure?  A hot bath, reading, mani/pedi….I know what you are thinking already….I don’t have time for this, I have 10 million other things I have to get done first.

I said the same thing…so this is my challenge for this week.

For me, it’s difficult to find those 5 or 10 minutes to sneak away because I have my boys 24/7.  I also value my sleep (when I can sleep), so staying up after they go to bed is not always an option.

It might even just be the 40-minute drive to work that I listen to my favorite music or catch up on my podcasts.

I know at times I may seem down on myself…hey we all have our days.  But I’ve been reading a lot or listening to podcasts on how to better yourself and it always comes back to how you are treating yourself.

My goal is to pencil something into my day that makes me happy.  I am hoping this will lift my spirits and allow me to take on the day more on a positive note rather than a negative one.

The first thing I have done is sign up for Shine Text (which I heard about reading another blog Well and Good – this was also a good read!) Every morning they will send you daily tips for self-fulfillment.  I am on Day One, so I will let you know how I like it by the end of the week.  But as I see it, it’s always nice to get a motivational text first thing in the morning to start your day right.

What have you penciled into your day?

#BetterPersonChallenge

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Kristen

 

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# 42 – #MondayBlog – Memories…like Movies in Your Mind

# 42 – #MondayBlog – Memories…like Movies in Your Mind

 

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Happy Memorial Day (even though the day is just about over)!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  I for one, am exhausted!

So there’s been something I’ve been thinking about lately and maybe you can relate.  Have you ever played a moment over in your head over and over again as if you were watching a movie?  Sometimes it happened a long time ago, yet when it plays in your head, you’re practically there.

Since my husband has passed away, I think there are a lot of things I blocked from my memory, perhaps to reappear when I’m ready for it…the mind works in mysterious ways.  But there are some bits and pieces that I can just close my eyes and see clear as day.  I suppose this is common with people who have lost a loved one.  But it’s just weird to me that I feel like I can’t remember everything…like someone has gone into my brain and wiped certain things away because maybe I’m just not ready to remember…I don’t know (something I should possibly read up on!)

I wish I had a full memory bank of my whole 15 years with Dan…it felt so long but yet now feels so incredibly short.  There’s so much I pray I don’t forget…like the very first time I saw him.  It was in high school and I was coming out of a stairwell and I look into the crowded hallway and in the sea of people, all I see is his head above the rest (he was pretty tall).  As I got closer, I saw that he was holding hands with someone so I quickly brushed it off, but god’s honest truth, I felt something, like a connection of some sort.  I had no idea what is was and didn’t think about it long because I didn’t even know his name at the time.  But something like this, I can close my eyes and see him walking down the crowded hallway perfectly.

As Father’s Day approaches, it seems to be getting a little harder.  My heart hurts in a totally different way for my children.  We will get through it and make it special though.

Keep.  Chugging.  Along.  Put on a smile and walk out that door…make it a good week!

Picture by: Pia Kristine Lic: CC

Kristen