Trust until you have a reason not to.
Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. I would like to break this down because so often we have walls, or there is “hear say”, or we have been burned so many times before. It’s time to take a look at what the meaning of trust truly means to us and how it can make us hold less grudges and live a happy life if we just look at the world a little differently.
I hold trust way up high. If I trust you with my story, then you have gained a ticket through my wall (yes, I have seemed to build some over the past few years myself). So all of these tasks, I am working at along with you!
Reliability – How many times do you need to be let down before you finally decide that “you know what, this person cannot be trusted with this task”. It doesn’t mean you cannot be friends or have to have a heated argument…it’s the exact opposite really! Maybe what you are trying to depend on them for, is not something they are an expert in, or does not have as high of an importance as you have it. Look to someone else who has the skills to put your trust in a reliable person.
Truth – This is a hard one for me. What I want to say on paper is, “Why would this person lie to you? Is there an underlying reason they are afraid to talk to you truthfully?” But I have been burned and know what it feels like to have your trust broken. So this too is on my list to at least try to get better at understanding why truth is not being told. It is also important to not get walked all over because YOU are trying to do the right thing and have a little thread of faith that this person is trustworthy, yet your experiences are telling you otherwise.
Ability – This is a good one. I will use my children as an example. They have completely different personalities. I have learned to work best with them, find their strengths and abilities and focus on that. One likes to clean and work on projects, the other has a great imagination and loves to create. Sometimes you have to do this in the real adult world as well. Maybe there is a task you are asking of someone and they are not doing it correctly and you are starting to lose trust that they will not get the task done timely and correctly. Step back and maybe it’s just their skill set. What are their strengths and go from there.
Strength – This is for you. What I have discussed above – reliability, truth, and ability are all things you need to look inside of people before automatically not trusting them. So don’t be so quick to judge because your “neighbor said so”. If you get through these steps, and red flags are popping up everywhere, then maybe you need to decide, “Is this person really trustworthy?” But also look inside yourself and think about your own strengths and abilities when interacting with other people. This can make you understand more and be more open and TRUSTING before jumping the gun.