Happy Memorial Day (even though the day is just about over)! I hope you all had a great weekend! I for one, am exhausted!
So there’s been something I’ve been thinking about lately and maybe you can relate. Have you ever played a moment over in your head over and over again as if you were watching a movie? Sometimes it happened a long time ago, yet when it plays in your head, you’re practically there.
Since my husband has passed away, I think there are a lot of things I blocked from my memory, perhaps to reappear when I’m ready for it…the mind works in mysterious ways. But there are some bits and pieces that I can just close my eyes and see clear as day. I suppose this is common with people who have lost a loved one. But it’s just weird to me that I feel like I can’t remember everything…like someone has gone into my brain and wiped certain things away because maybe I’m just not ready to remember…I don’t know (something I should possibly read up on!)
I wish I had a full memory bank of my whole 15 years with Dan…it felt so long but yet now feels so incredibly short. There’s so much I pray I don’t forget…like the very first time I saw him. It was in high school and I was coming out of a stairwell and I look into the crowded hallway and in the sea of people, all I see is his head above the rest (he was pretty tall). As I got closer, I saw that he was holding hands with someone so I quickly brushed it off, but god’s honest truth, I felt something, like a connection of some sort. I had no idea what is was and didn’t think about it long because I didn’t even know his name at the time. But something like this, I can close my eyes and see him walking down the crowded hallway perfectly.
As Father’s Day approaches, it seems to be getting a little harder. My heart hurts in a totally different way for my children. We will get through it and make it special though.
Keep. Chugging. Along. Put on a smile and walk out that door…make it a good week!