Dear Future Me…
In the past 37 years, I had expected life to be different. So I’m sorry to tell you, Future Me, I’m not positive where you will be.
I dreamt of a lot of things as a young girl. Could not wait to find my companion for life. It was all I would dream about…I wanted someone to love and take care of me. But as I got older, I soon learned that those love stories that you see in the movies….are only in the movies.
As of right now, I have lost faith in finding “the one” I will grow older with. Maybe Future Me you will have a different perspective on the topic, but as of now this is how I stand.
Some of you may find this hard to read, or have different circumstances, or whatever you may feel on the topic. But things definitely did not go as planned and I know things happen for a reason, it’s just time until you figure out why. Will I get married again…No. Plain and simple, my heart doesn’t believe in it anymore.
I am happy I fell in love with Dan and had two wonderful baby boys, but it just didn’t happen how I dreamed it would in the end. I know not all marriages are perfect and all require work…trust me, I have read a lot on these topics.
It’s just not for me to put my heart on the line one more time. It’s shattered and it would take one heck of a person to put the pieces back because some of them will forever be gone.
The world is different, people are different, and I’m not sad about it being alone. I have my boys and they are my world. I have been a wife and don’t regret any of it, but Dan holds a special place in my heart, no matter what.
When he passed he took many pieces of my heart with him. Sometimes I’m mad at him, other times just overcome with grief.
But I cannot go back in time.
It’s plain and simple.
No answer why this happened and there never will be.
So Future Me, just make sure you take care of yourself. Keep the boys happy and healthy. This is my priority now.
Sorry this post is a little dark and initially did not intend it to go this route, but my feelings just poured out this way.