So here I am, almost a month away from being 39 years old and it has occurred to me over the past few days….Man my 30’s suuuuucked!!! This is no poor me, but it’s a fact. For the year I have left of being in my 30’s, I will be preparing for my 40’s. I am determined to reinvent myself for this new decade….after all, I hear 40’s are the new 25!
I’m losing weight, keeping those close to me even closer, stressing over things that “matter”. I can’t lose sleep over what something Trump may have said that day. Speaking of sleep…I will sleep better. I need to be present and really take a look at myself in the mirror and analyze it. No more taking a glance, wincing, and stepping away. This is serious. My kids are only getting older and a whole new set of “stages” will be occurring. I need to be at my best….for myself and for my kids. I want holidays to feel special again. It’s a shame that at the sweet innocent ages that my kids are now, they have the grinchiest mother out there. It’s just not the same and I will change that.
I’m making this sound easy aren’t I?! I am even convincing myself!! But in all seriousness, all of this won’t happen at the stroke of midnight of me turning 40. I know it’s going to take work, but I want to enjoy this work. I want a life I don’t need a vacation from. “But everyone has issues and no one’s life is perfect”, you say! This is true and I don’t disagree with you, but it will all be how I handle things going forward. No more “why does this shit always happen to me” attitude. It will now be “okay, this is how I’m going to handle this”. My aim is not to be perfect…my aim is to enjoy my life and all the craziness it entails.
Picture by: Kylie Aquino
If we were having coffee…
I would tell you that I cannot believe it is mid-July already and I feel like I haven’t even begun to experience any “summer” activities. During the week has been super busy, this is about the time that I wish I stayed with my plan for being a teacher!
My older son goes to school (they call it extended school year) for July and August to make sure he keeps up with his reading and math progress. It’s only Tues-Fri and half days, so not too horrible and amazingly….he does not complain!
The little guy goes to camp every day. This is where I forget that he is indeed only 5 years old (almost 6). I’m very happy with the camp, but it is a really long day for him playing and swimming non-stop from about 8-5ish. He started getting a little weepy with me last week (only in Week 3 of 9) that he didn’t want to go to camp. I’m pretty sure it’s due to him being so tired. I feel bad, but really what can I do, I have to work. I think he’s having good time and great experiences….just a long day.
So with that being said, I am very busy in the mornings trying to catch the bus and drive to camp and then drive to work. When we get home, they take showers and put their pajamas right on. So really…that’s our whole night….make dinner and then it’s bed time.
Weekends have been filled with birthday parties, family functions, etc. I guess I answered my own question as to why we haven’t done too much yet this summer!
I have mentioned before that I am attending school again and have finished two classes so far (with A’s go me!). This third class I am worried about. It’s Statistics for Business Decisions….just the name kind of makes me cringe. I HAVE to get through it and stop quitting when it gets too hard, but it’s…..hard! And to get out my tiny violin…I’m just tired of everything being hard. But I’ll put my big girl panties on and keep on going, like I always do.
So this coffee talk has been great, but I have a paper to write…
For more #WeekendCoffeeShare, please visit Part Time Monster’s Blog
Picture by: Debs (ò‿ó)♪ Lic: CC
I have had this song in my playlist for a while now, but recently listened to it again and just love it.
Picture by: Nelleke Poorthuis Lic: CC
First – yay I’m back!!!
Sorry for the little break and I haven’t disappeared or stopped blogging. With the kids school ending, camp starting, my own school work….my brain has been a little fried to sit down and put some words together that somewhat make sense.
So here I go….
My “Better Person Challenge” of the week is to not let fear get in my way.
I have to say I have grown the past few years and punched fear in the face a few times since my husband passed away, but it is always something I am working at.
I started a new class in school yesterday and just by reading the syllabus, my brain started smoking and my initial reaction was to run. “I cannot get through this class, it looks way too hard!” I literally had to talk to talk myself down and say “Listen, it’s going to be hard, but you have to finish school! You have dealt with harder things in life….stop whining and get through these five f*ing weeks!”
I am also working on a project that could potentially be a little side hustle and first thought “Can I actually do this? Do I have the personality? The motivation? The skills?” I have had some pushback from people saying “How can you possibly add more things to your plate?” I have a picture hanging above my desk with the saying, “She’s a dreamer, A doer, A thinker. She sees possibility everywhere”. Enough said!
And these two examples are just this past week and month…fear can be everywhere…it’s how you face it that makes a difference.
So don’t back down, try something different and face an issue head on that you would normally back down from because you were scared you would fail! You got this!
Picture by: BK Lic: CC
When you’re feeling some sort of way….happy Friday!
Picture by: UnknownNet Photography Lic: CC
Trust until you have a reason not to.
Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. I would like to break this down because so often we have walls, or there is “hear say”, or we have been burned so many times before. It’s time to take a look at what the meaning of trust truly means to us and how it can make us hold less grudges and live a happy life if we just look at the world a little differently.
I hold trust way up high. If I trust you with my story, then you have gained a ticket through my wall (yes, I have seemed to build some over the past few years myself). So all of these tasks, I am working at along with you!
Reliability – How many times do you need to be let down before you finally decide that “you know what, this person cannot be trusted with this task”. It doesn’t mean you cannot be friends or have to have a heated argument…it’s the exact opposite really! Maybe what you are trying to depend on them for, is not something they are an expert in, or does not have as high of an importance as you have it. Look to someone else who has the skills to put your trust in a reliable person.
Truth – This is a hard one for me. What I want to say on paper is, “Why would this person lie to you? Is there an underlying reason they are afraid to talk to you truthfully?” But I have been burned and know what it feels like to have your trust broken. So this too is on my list to at least try to get better at understanding why truth is not being told. It is also important to not get walked all over because YOU are trying to do the right thing and have a little thread of faith that this person is trustworthy, yet your experiences are telling you otherwise.
Ability – This is a good one. I will use my children as an example. They have completely different personalities. I have learned to work best with them, find their strengths and abilities and focus on that. One likes to clean and work on projects, the other has a great imagination and loves to create. Sometimes you have to do this in the real adult world as well. Maybe there is a task you are asking of someone and they are not doing it correctly and you are starting to lose trust that they will not get the task done timely and correctly. Step back and maybe it’s just their skill set. What are their strengths and go from there.
Strength – This is for you. What I have discussed above – reliability, truth, and ability are all things you need to look inside of people before automatically not trusting them. So don’t be so quick to judge because your “neighbor said so”. If you get through these steps, and red flags are popping up everywhere, then maybe you need to decide, “Is this person really trustworthy?” But also look inside yourself and think about your own strengths and abilities when interacting with other people. This can make you understand more and be more open and TRUSTING before jumping the gun.
Picture by: Vic Lic: CC
So I missed my usual #WeekendCoffeeShare…booo…sorry guys! Not like it’s anything new, but it’s just so hectic right now. But I’m starting to think….I may be addicted to being busy..even if I occasionally complain about it.
I keep putting more and more on my plate…but I’m enjoying it…can’t explain it. I’m working full-time, going to school part-time, trying to get a side hustle business going for some extra cash, and raising two boys. I have decided…I just need to be busy!
Saying that, I am also learning how to effectively manage my time. I was sitting at work today and felt like I kept starting a few things at the same time. I had to stop myself and just make a list. I do it at home, work is the next best place to practice this habit!
My lists help! Sometimes I can make it through it all and sometimes I don’t. I at least feel accomplished when I can cross things off. I can stir myself up in such a tizzy sometimes, that I’m so stressed and I have time for nothing, but all I need to do is prioritize. I can’t do everything at once. I also outsource anything and everything I can. Anything I can get delivered to me so I don’t have to walk into an actual store with my rugrats in tow….I’m there! Sign me up!
That’s my PSA for the day 🙂
Father’s Day will soon be upon us and wondering how my kids are taking it so far. I haven’t heard much from the big guy and I’m always torn on how much I should pry out of him without introducing new feelings when he’s been strolling along just fine.
My little guy has renamed it “Grandfather’s Day”, which I’m fine with as long as he’s happy. He actually corrected me when I called it “Father’s Day”. I will ensure they remember their father as well that day, but make sure they are enjoying their Grandfathers and Uncles as much as possible at the same time.
Well I hope your Monday has gone well….it’s almost over!
Picture by: john.schultz Lic: CC